Say something

Justin Timberlake implores. So does Siri

You are always being heard. Not by your friend, or a neighbour. Nor your favourite fruitwalla, paperwalla, HR, colleagues, boss, pet, wife (even on a Sunday) or the love of your life. Seriously heard. Like nanosecond to nanosecond. She or he – since the voice in your ear is one of your choice – is eagerly waiting for you to say something, just like Justin Timberlake implores you to.

Work from home is never solitary. With one ‘hey Siri’ you have a politely enquiring ‘uh-huh’ or ‘hmm’ at your beck and call. Or its Google equivalent. Virtual assistant is so real, conversations get surreal. Here’s one. Unreal it is. A human tells her cat to stop meowing. The cat mid-meow stares back with big, green, impassive eyes, and bats no eyelid. But the bot, in less than a heartbeat, feels in place of the feline and minus any command, springs forth and froths, “There is nothing to stop here. Check your devices in home Wi-Fi network.’’ 

Even before you smilingly wonder where that came from, you realise, yes, you are always being heard. Zoom calls and video-conferencing, now a mainstay, mean an ear always has a pod. It’s assistance at a nod. Even sans a ‘hey…’ command, the bot, at times, is eager to chat. À la a collegial frat. 

Politeness begets politeness even in the AI world. The ‘voice’ is very human. And if Ps and Qs are ingrained in you since childhood, bot or not, ‘thank you’ comes naturally. Especially when the VA asks if an incoming call needs to be answered, reads out a text, or sets an alarm. The ‘assistant’ acknowledges and replies with a well-modulated variation. “You’re welcome”, “don’t mention it”, “it’s alright”, “my pleasure’’, or “no problem’’. 

VA is a ‘narrow AI’. It focuses on natural language processing, which means understanding and interpreting voice commands, and ‘machine learning’ to improve its response based on user interaction. You may even get an almost authentic sounding, “All alright then’’. If that’s the only ‘chat’ you had that day, it can be both amusing and telling.

The AI assistant isn’t new. It’s a teen by now. If it’s on, it is everywhere. What next? Will it read minds willy-nilly? Seriously, a gift and a price for letting tech spoil us silly.