Hard landing

Plane speaking after mantri agony

It was farmer minister’s turn to protest. Agriculture mantri came a cropper, or rather Air India did after unwisely allotting him a ‘broken and sunken’ seat on Bhopal-Delhi flight AI 436. Perhaps its numbers adding up to 13 had something to do with the eightfold path to ignominy. Less-exalted passengers squirm and bear it, perchance complain on X; Shivraj Singh did so too on his Chouhan-dle. But in his case it did not end there. A sudden rise in cabin pressure followed.

One, Tatas issued a personal and public apology.

Two, aviation minister spoke to DGCA.

Three, latter sought report from AI.

Four, faulty seat was specially galling since MP strongman had boarded from own former capital.

Five, cabin crew had cautioned against allotting it.

Six, adding insubordination to insult and anatomical injury, in 2022, DGCA had directed AI not to sell unserviceable seats.

Seven, plane was just a year old. Its geriatric fleet was major cause of our once-vaunted international carrier’s nose-dive. But renewal had begun after its renewed Tata ownership.

Eight, ex-minister Rajeev Chandrasekhar gratuitously sprang to the attack on springless seat with his own X post, ‘If it was anyone else other than the polite, gentleman minister @ChouhanShivraj ji, person would have created a justified angry response to this kind of incident.’

So here’s my two-bit. Honourable mantriji could afford soft voice; others will pucca carry big stick. But, ‘polite gentlemanly’ responses aren’t the norm. There’s a planeload of instances of ruckus made by this twice-born breed if it gets less-than-obsequious treatment.

In cabin crew terminology, they ‘do not refrain from standing up till’ they have managed to bring regular business ‘to a complete halt’. In their own ministerial flight path, they want to ‘fasten their seat-belts tightly’. And when unfastened from seat of power, they find it extremely difficult to ‘observe the No Fuming sign’.

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Alec Smart said: “Don’t turn USAID into USFADE. It’s served more poor than polls.”