Is there a line on your phone?

Lines! Lines! Lines everywhere! 

Some real, like the lines in a note-book, or the lines on our face. Some man-made, like the line in front of a public loo. Some imaginary, like the lines on the earth. 

Now all that is passé! Here’s presenting a new line on the block. It’s real! And it’s pink! Sometimes blue. Sometimes green. 

If you’re wondering what I am rambling on about – here’s a rundown of my line of thought. A month or so ago, the husband switched on his mobile and said “What the …!” And I immediately threw the dirty pots and pans back into the kitchen sink and rushed out. I’m always waiting for interruptions to the daily kitchen grind anyway. 

“Is there a line on your phone?” he asked. 

And me, thinking it was a game, instantly shot back with, “Is there salt in your toothpaste?” 

But this was a matter beyond inane jokes. He held up his mobile. And I saw the light, or rather the line! A thin, vertical line running from north to south on his mobile screen. A pink line. An obstinate, stubborn line which refused to go despite shutting down the phone multiple times and rebooting it. If I tell you that a mere line can rule one’s life, you better believe it. Life has not been the same ever since this strange pink linear appearance. Every time the husband opens his mobile and looks at it, the pink line looks back at him. Finally, he could take it no more and off he went to the service centre. And returned pretty soon with his report. Apparently, a bored young man at the shop took one look at the mobile and said, “Tell me something new!” Because, allegedly, phones of this particular company, bought during 2022-23 have this issue and it would cost us a small fortune to get the screen replaced. For want of anything useful to say, I simply gave him a soothing smile, and in return the husband tells me gleefully not to be too smug, my phone would soon develop similar issues too and it’s just a matter of time. We bought it in the same year, you see! 

To his secret relief, the husband discovered that he is not the only one in the line. On a visit to a restaurant one evening, while randomly looking around the chattering crowd in the room as we waited for our order to be filled in, the man at the next table flipped his phone on and we had our eureka moment. His screen had the very same line too and the husband and I high-fived, as if it was a win of some kind for us.

And I, an armchair sleuth, smell a pandemic. A world-wide pandemic of lines on the phone, designed to make customers shell out large sums of their hard-earned money to either replace the screen or the phone. And I am convinced of my conspiracy theory ever since more people within our family and among our acquaintances have reported lines on their phone too! At family gatherings, we exchange notes on the colour and the number of lines on each phone and the methods used to get rid of them. Throw the phone into a bag of rice, said one helpful Google post. Sit on it, said another. Take off the battery, pound it into a thousand pieces and put it back, said a third. 

Harrowing tales are recounted of unsympathetic service centres and retail shops of said mobile company, all of whom simply shunt off complaints and make one run around like headless chickens. 

Meanwhile, my family is now divided into haves and have-nots. The husband has the line. I have not! And since the service centre has promised him that my phone too will go along similar lines, I find the husband surreptitiously peeping over my shoulder every time I take up my phone. Will the Haves win? Or the Have-nots?  

The constant stress is getting to me and I’m seeing lines everywhere! In my sleep too!