Jaane bhi do Ukraine

Geopolitical insights from a classic Hindi film

War, much like a Bollywood comedy, defies logic. And the Russia-Ukraine war? It’s starting to resemble Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro– a chaotic mess where morality is a joke, and the real winners are those who manipulate the system best.

If you haven’t seen this 1983 classic, imagine a dark satire masked as a slapstick comedy. Two idealistic photographers, Vinod and Sudhir, stumble upon a scandal linking corrupt office-bearers, builders and media. They believe they can expose the truth, only to find themselves ensnared in a web of deceit where justice is a mirage, and the powerful always win. By the end, the heroes are left helpless, framed for a crime they tried to uncover, while the villains continue business as usual.

Ukraine, much like Vinod and Sudhir, set out with noble intentions – believing in international laws, sovereignty and justice. But, like our hapless photographers, they soon found themselves outplayed by bigger forces. Their cries for help have been met with grand speeches, hollow promises and just enough weapons to keep the war going but never end it.

Playing the role of Tarneja, Russia has discarded the rulebook entirely. It will take what it wants, by any means necessary. Borders, sovereignty, peace? Mere formalities. The world can protest all it wants; Tarneja is too busy building his empire.

And then there’s Shobha, played by US in the Ukraine war. The torchbearer of truth keeps pulling strings from behind, provides aid and imposes sanctions. Imposer of democracy, steamroller of justice, the best thing to happen to the planet before and after reality TV.
Europe? A perfect mix of Ahuja and assistant municipal commissioner Srivastav – outraged in public, opportunistic in private. Condemning Russia in speeches while negotiating energy deals behind closed doors. They huff and puff about democracy, but at the end of the day, their priority is keeping their houses warm in winter.

As for the rest of the countries, they’re baffled actors stuck in the Mahabharat play – sticking to the same sterilised dialogues while the lead actors have long abandoned the script. And so, much like in the film, Ukraine might continue to believe that justice will prevail. But audience knows how that film ended. Hum honge kaamyaab? We shall overcome? Maybe. Only time will tell. Until then, jaane bhi do yaaro. Let it be, let it be.