‘…there could not have been a more courageous partner of a Navy man like [Pahalgam victim] Vinay’

Himanshi Narwal, widow of Lieutenant Vinay Narwal, who was killed by terrorists in Pahalgam in Kashmir on April 22 along with 25 other tourists, has become the voice of reason that India so badly needs as it comes to terms with a senseless tragedy and shapes a befitting response against its perpetrators.Speaking at an event to mark her slain husband’s birth anniversary in Karnal, Haryana, Himanshi appealed that no Muslim or Kashmiri must be targeted in retaliation. “We don’t want people going against Muslims or Kashmiris. We want peace and only peace. Of course, we want justice.”How Himanshi rose above her immeasurable pain to call for justice and not blind retribution in which Indians begin fighting Indians has evoked a wave of appreciation on social media. Though she also got trolled by some for being “weak” and a “terror sympathiser”, the support she got outweighed the hate. ‘Don’t want people going against Muslims or Kashmiris.. ‘ Himanshi Narwal, wife of terror victim and Naval officer late Vinay Narwal, in her appeal for communal harmony shows far more courage and empathy than those who have lost very little but talk too much in tv studios, social… pic.twitter.com/J5CrWkcdy0

— Rajdeep Sardesai (@sardesairajdeep) May 2, 2025 Among those who congratulated her was Lalita Ramdas, who calls herself “one among the oldest Naval wives still living”. Lalita Ramdas, 85, is the daughter of Admiral RD Katari, the first Indian to head the Navy after Independence and her husband, Admiral L Ramdas, was the 13th Chief of the Naval Staff.Lalita Ramdas wrote two letters to Himanshi – first on April 29 to express condolences and offer support and the second just days after Himanshi sought protection for Muslims and Kashmiris at a blood donation camp organised in her husband’s memory.In a note shared with TOI+, Lalita Ramdas said she was not able to get out of her mind the image of Himanshi sitting next to her husband’s lifeless body in Baisaran after the terrorists had shot him. “I think it hit me particularly hard because of my own Navy background, and above all because my husband (then a young Navy lieutenant) and I, spent our honeymoon in Kashmir...partly on a houseboat on Nishat Lake in Srinagar and partly in Pahalgam.Here, we reproduce the two letters and the note Lalita Ramdas (lightly edited) shared with TOI+: medium nocaption120851038Dear Mrs Vinay Narwal,Forgive this formal style of address – unfortunately I do not know your first name.I have been wanting to write to you from the day I heard about the loss of Vinay in this shocking incident of terrorist violence in Pahalgam on April 22.There are no words that can possibly bring you any kind of solace or consolation at a time like this. Of this I am deeply conscious. And the fact that you were on your honeymoon and then had to go through this awful tragedy – particularly made me want to reach out.A few words about myself – because you might wonder why I am writing to you out of the blue.I am Lalita Ramdas, a Fauji daughter and a Fauji wife – and just completed my 85th year. My father, Admiral RD Katari, was the first Indian to head the Navy after Independence. And my husband, Admiral L Ramdas, was the 13th Chief of the Naval Staff. We met when he came as my father’s Flag Lieutenant to Navy House in 1960. It was love at first sight – and much of our getting to know each other happened in Kashmir. We were married in 1961 – and we too decided to spend our honeymoon in Kashmir – partly in a houseboat on Dal lake, and partly in Pahalgam.It was a very different Kashmir from the still beautiful, but troubled and violent place that you have experienced and which has taken away your husband in this cruel manner. I have not been able to get you out of my mind, and this is why I felt I must write to you.Life plays its cards in tough ways – and I just wanted to say that I hope you will have the courage and the determination to come through this traumatic time with your spirit and your inner self stronger and finding ways to heal an almost impossible wound.You must be one of the most recent, one of the youngest, members of the Naval family – and I have no doubt that the Navy Wives Welfare and Wellness Association [NWWA] would already have reached out to you and offered every assistance that you will need at this time. If there is any way in which I, as one of the oldest Naval wives still living, can be of any help – please don’t hesitate to reach out and get in touch. If you would like to just get away and have a change – and just want time and space to work things out – I would really be very happy if you would like to come and spend some time with me.With my love and thoughts with you,Very FondlyLalita Ramdas medium nocaption120851106Dear Himanshi.My name is Lalita Ramdas.I am a Navy daughter and a Navy Wife.My father and my Husband were both Chiefs of the Naval Staff....the first and the thirteenth.This is a personal tribute from possibly one of the oldest Navy daughters/wives alive today ....to the newest and youngest among the special fraternity of Naval Wives.I am so proud of you as I watch the clip of your words to the press, over and over again. Your extraordinary strength, composure and conviction when you speak out against hate and targeting of Muslims and Kashmiris after the horrific killing of so many innocent men in Pahalgam on the 22nd is truly remarkable. And so badly needed in our times“We only want peace,” you said, and of course rightly, “we want justice too.”You are the perfect Fauji wife. Himanshi, true to the spirit of the service, the Constitution and to our secular values.You are clearly a woman who knows her mind, and there could not have been a more courageous partner of a Navy man like Vinay.You have echoed the thoughts and feelings of every thinking citizen of this country. And we should all take your message of love and compassion far and wide.Thank you. HimanshiI wrote you a letter just two days ago which I sent c/o the CNS sectt.Hope you get it.And since they kindly sent me your address, I will be mailing you my letter directly to Karnal.LalitaHimanshi Zindabad!Nari Shakti ZindabadBhartiya Nao Sena ZindabadJai Hind - Jai Jagat medium nocaption120851157Ever since the news of the tragic terrorist attack hit the headlines, and especially after we heard that a young honeymooning Naval Lieutenant was one among the victims, I have been unable to get the images of the young woman on the ground beside the body of her husband, out of my mind.She could have been my granddaughter. And I just wanted to reach out....both as a 'vintage' Navy Wife as also as an older woman trying to console this newly- wed Navy wife whose entire life and dreams must have come crashing around her.I didn't even know her first name. So, I addressed her formally and requested the Naval Headquarters to forward the letter to her.Two days later, I happened to see a video clip with Himanshi's stunningly lucid and mature interview to the barrage of microphones and reporters, saying NO to hate and NO to targeting Muslims and Kashmiris.And this was the event that made me immediately sit at my computer and address the second letter along with the video, which seems to have gone viral.I had not thought that my spontaneous letter praising her extraordinary courage and maturity would have attracted the kind of attention it has.In many ways this has been a matter of tremendous gratification.And we need to spread her message and celebrate that we have a courageous young woman like Himanshi in our midst.WarmlyLalita