Dr. Gregory House spent eight seasons questioning the existence of God and mocking anyone who showed even the slightest sign of faith. The character, based on Sherlock Holmes—a delightful retrofitting considering Sir Arthur Conan Doyle modelled his pipe-smoking detective on a doctor—would argue: “If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people.”
Sadly, House MD ended in 2012, and we never got to hear his take on Trumpian America or the strange notion where supposedly deeply religious evangelicals believe that a twice-divorced social grifter from New York, who couldn’t identify a single Bible verse in 2016, is somehow God’s chosen warrior of light.
After surviving two assassination attempts, Trump’s claim of being a candidate chosen by divine intervention has gained even more theological steam, especially among what was once known as the Republican Party. Top Trump ally, New York Rep. Elise Stefanik, said after the golf course incident: “Thankfully, God continues to watch over President Trump. As Americans, we must unite behind him in November to protect our republic and bring peace back to the world.”
Following
Donald Trump’s survival of the Pennsylvania assassination attempt, many in MAGA circles have attributed his protection to divine intervention. House Speaker Mike Johnson claimed, “GOD protected President Trump yesterday,” while Rep. Cory Mills said the former president survived due to "divine intervention" and the "protective hand" of God. Similarly, Rep. Carlos Antonio Giménez asserted that Trump survived “by the grace of God.”
Ivanka Trump believed her late mother was watching over her father during the incident. House Majority Leader Steve Scalise stated, “Yesterday there were miracles, and I think the hand of God was there too.”
Rep. Maria Elvira Salazar posted an image of an angel deflecting a bullet from Trump’s head, and Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy described the bullet’s narrow miss as “Divine Providence.” Rep. Brandon Williams added, “God saved our Republic last night,” while Rep. Mike Collins emphasized, “God spared Ronald Reagan for a reason. God spared Donald Trump for a reason. God doesn’t miss.”
While most of the biblical praise was generic, Jack Posobiec, a well-known MAGA conspiracy theorist, went a step further, claiming that the bullets were fired at 6:11 PM (God doesn’t keep military hours) and wrote: “Ephesians 6:11.”
The verse reads: “Put on the full armour of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”
Matthew D. Taylor, a senior theological scholar, argued that more hardline evangelical Christians view the incident as the “fulfillment of modern prophecy.” He wrote in Politico that while evangelicals believe the Bible describes the future, a new faction believes in modern prophecy through literal prophets speaking the words of God. These ideas have become central to various non-denominational factions that back Trump and emphasize “recapturing the supernatural dimension of the early church as described in the New Testament.”
What makes all this particularly amusing is that Donald Trump wasn’t that familiar with the Bible either. In 2016, he couldn’t name a single verse (even Pagans can quote the fake one from Pulp Fiction), but since then, he has become the Bible’s biggest salesman, calling it his “favorite book” and selling a “God Bless the USA” version for only $59.99 (pre-tax).
This version is a little different from the King James Bible. One expert described it as a “Christian nationalist’s fantasy”—filled with American flags, bald eagles, and iconic American documents like the Declaration of Independence. Luckily there was no McDonald's menu in it. The ideology is central to the argument put forth by Christian nationalists, who claim that Trump is the chosen warrior in a cosmic showdown against the evil Left and godless communists who want to transition everyone’s children at Pride parades and then let immigrants eat their cats.
Interestingly, even
Pope Francis channelled his inner Dante when asked to choose between the two candidates, urging U.S. Catholics to choose the “lesser evil,” noting one was “chasing away migrants” and the other was “killing children,” and that both were “against life.” Both House and Holmes would have likely approved of the Pontifex's healthy cynicism.
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