I read a disturbing chat between my daughter and her friend

Query: I keep checking my daughter's chats to know what's going on in her life. She is 13 and I am afraid she might get wrongly influenced and informed by her peers. There is this one particular chat where a girl in her class has spoken to her about nudity and how she watched some videos and they made her sweat. My daughter replied with a series of emoticons and a message that read, 'talk about it later'.How should I approach this?
Response by Dr. Rachana Awatramani: Teenagers not only experience physical changes in them but also psychological growth, Sexual changes and sexual identity is one of the aspects of becoming teenagers. Parents can be worried about their children and about how they get influenced by their peers. One thing is certain that they are growing up in an age where they have access to a lot of information which can be challenging for parents to deal with at times.
I understand that you are concerned about your 13 year daughter and check her phone to know what kind of peer pressure or influence she is experiencing. I see you have found some messages about nudity from her friend and you seem to be confused on how to approach this situation. Have you spoken to her about sex and sexuality? This is an important aspect about their growing up and it is extremely necessary that she gets to know about safe sex and various aspects of sexuality from a trusted adult and a parent can be the best person for that. If you hesitate to speak to her about it you can consult an expert to help you on how to speak to your child on the same. Secondly, you need to show some trust in your child and accept that she is growing up and will come across various situations of being influenced and pressured. The best way to handle this is to make sure she knows the consequences of her actions. Lately, you can provide her with a teenage mentor where she can speak to her about social pressure and other aspects of her life.
As parents you do get worried about your children however they need you to trust them and also know that your fears are yours and not their fears, they are exploring at this age and sexuality is one of the aspects which they want to know more about therefore, creating a more trustful and safe space at house about such topics can be helpful.
Dr. Rachana Awatramani is a Counseling Psychologist and Happiness Life Coach. She can be reached at http://www.rachanaawatramani.com
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