Do you often find yourself in a situation where your child devoids you of response even when you have been calling their name for long? Parents often struggle when their children ignore them, finding it more challenging than outright defiance or arguments. This common experience stems from a lot of things that actually have nothing to do with the parent or how they are spoiled the child. Therefore, it is time to shift the blame and understand why your child ignores you:
They cannot process emotions
Children's lack of brain maturity and life experience significantly impacts their ability to demonstrate empathy and understand parents' perspectives. Even when children intellectually grasp what's important to their parents, they may not comprehend it emotionally due to their developmental stage.
They are stimulated
Having a child's full attention is crucial for effective communication. When children are distracted by screens, conversations, or other stimuli, their brains may automatically default to nodding or saying "yes" without actually processing the information being shared.
They cannot multitask
The brain's limited bandwidth affects children's ability to manage multiple tasks. While adults can mentally juggle numerous responsibilities, children's developing brains struggle with task prioritization, especially during morning routines or adolescence.
Their brain isn’t developed
When children appear to ignore their parents, it typically reflects their brain's current developmental state or immediate circumstances rather than intentional disrespect. Understanding this can help parents maintain perspective and respond more effectively to their children's behavior. Children's responses to parental communication often depend on their brain's ability to process information at that moment. Environmental factors, distractions, and developmental stages all influence how effectively children can engage with and respond to their parents.
Physical reasons
Multiple factors can affect a child's ability to process information, including hormones, hydration, sleep quality, and various stressors. Parents should be particularly patient with adolescents, who are still undergoing significant brain development. Be gentle on your kids' brains, especially first thing in the morning, and especially if you're raising adolescents. They've still got a lot of developing and maturing to do, and throwing multiple tasks at them at a time will only ever make things worse.
They lack thinking skills
Parents often handle tasks for their children or provide constant reminders, which can prevent children from developing their own processing and thinking skills. Instead of giving direct instructions, asking questions helps initiate independent thinking and problem-solving abilities. Dopamine, the brain's reward chemical, plays a significant role in reinforcing positive behaviors. Rather than using external rewards, parents can provide strength-based feedback to encourage intrinsic motivation and support brain development.
How to be assertive to children?
- Making eye contact and asking children to repeat instructions helps ensure information is properly received. This approach activates the brain's receptive mode and confirms mutual understanding between parent and child.
- Parents can encourage positive behavior by highlighting improvements and offering constructive feedback. It serves as an effective way to provide positive reinforcement without conditioning children to comply solely for rewards.
- Instead of always directing children with commands like "do this" or "do that," parents can ask guiding questions such as "Is there a reason the school bag is on the floor?" or "What do you need to do with your football kit to ensure it's ready for practice next week?"
- For optimal communication, parents should focus on one task at a time and allow children more time than might seem necessary to process and complete activities. This approach helps prevent conflicts and supports better outcomes in parent-child interactions.