Onir: 20 years later, we’re still talking about My Brother Nikhil – and that’s beautiful

Onir's debut film My Brother Nikhil completed 20 years recently, Onir says that when he looks back at the film, he sees how the film continues to trigger conversations. In a recent chat, he looked back at the film and said he sees it as not a 20 but 30 years journey.
He says,"If I look back 30 years, since I came into the industry, and 20 years of My Brother Nikhil, I feel an immense sense of gratitude and happiness," he says. “I'm from Thimphu, Bhutan, born and raised in a middle-class family. As a boy in class eight, I had a dream to be a filmmaker. And to make my first film in the world’s largest film industry, to carve out even a tiny space for myself it’s empowering.”


Onir's debut film, My Brother Nikhil, released in 2005, was considered groundbreaking by critics. It told the story of Nikhil Kapoor, a champion swimmer diagnosed with HIV, at a time when cinema largely avoided LGBTQ+ narratives. The film was deeply personal for Onir, inspired by the life of Dominic D’Souza, India’s first known HIV/AIDS patient.
Dominic's story was so powerful that he couldn’t shake it off and started working on the film.
“Even now, people message me about the film,” he shares. “Teenagers who watched it growing up say they felt seen, represented. Parents have told me it helped them understand their children better.”
During a recent screening celebrating 20 years of the film, Onir recalls a moment. “A woman stood up and said, ‘When I saw your last film, Pine Cone (2023), I learned something about my son that I had never understood. And when I watch My Brother Nikhil now, I realise that for so many years, I deprived my son of my love. The loss was mine, not just his."
Onir recalls walking the streets of San Francisco with lead actor Sanjay Suri after the first international screening. "People would shout, ‘Nikhil, we love you!’" he recalls.
Yet, in India, reactions were mixed.
“At some screenings, audiences walked out at the interval when they realised Nikhil was gay. And despite critical acclaim, the industry did not recognise it. So I've never got any award in India, apart from my National Award in 2011 (For I Am), My brother Nikhil never got that recognition which was a little sad, but at the end of the day, after 20 years later, we are still talking about the firm and I feel that is beautiful. ”


The making of My Brother Nikhil was not easy. “Sanjay and his wife, Neha, cried when they read the script. Initially, I thought we’d shoot on a small video camera. But Sanjay said, ‘No, we have to make this into a film.’ They pooled personal savings and, along with friends, formed Four Front Films."
Yet, distribution was a nightmare. “Aisa kyu nahi kiya?They had all kinds of weird suggestions and there were people I remember from big distribution companies saying - are you showing us the rushes? So it was humiliating at times. And it was only when Sanjay showed the film to Karan (Johar) and Karan was really, really kind. It touched him, He suggested Aditya Chopra to watch the film, so for a debut person to get that big release - I felt that good energies got together, and made it possible, but it was not an easy journey. It took us years to recover because it was not easy.The struggle didn’t end with its release."
Onir admits, “But it was rewarding in other ways. The film is now archived in universities, cited in research. It has become part of Indian cinema history.”

Looking back, Onir sees progress but says,“In 2005, My Brother Nikhil got a U certificate and a theatrical release. In 2025, I still have to fight for certification, and queer films struggle even more for distribution. People talk about progress, but tell me, how many queer-themed films did you see in cinemas last year? Very few. Streaming has opened doors, but even there, truly path-breaking Indian films are rare. The last important one I remember was Kaathal - The Core, with Mammootty playing a gay man.”
“A journalist recently asked me, 'Onir, haven't you done enough?' (for queer narratives). I asked him - 'would you ever ask a straight filmmaker that?"
He says,"I wanted to tell this story to show that we all have the power to be better, to be more loving, understanding, and accepting.'


The film’s perspective - told through the eyes of Nikhil’s sister was intentional. “In an ironic full-circle moment, my sister co-wrote my biography, I Am Onir, in 2022.”On set, Onir was quite focused. They shot in 27 days on a tight budget in Goa. Juhi Chawla, playing Nikhil’s sister, was used to a different kind of filmmaking.
He recalls,"After a few days, she came to me and said, ‘It’s my 77th film, your first. But you have to tell me what to do -I am a director’s actor.’ That gave me confidence.”
For Onir, filmmaking is about humanising experiences. He says that he is branded as a filmmaker who makes issue-based stories, but he doesn't tell stories to highlight an issue, but to show life.
What did he want to say through the film? Onir says,"For me, Dominic’s story stayed with me - the sheer cruelty and unkindness he faced from society. I wanted to tell this story to show that we all have the power to be better, to be more loving, understanding, and accepting. I remember feeling Dominic’s pain and anguish so deeply while making My Brother Nikhil that it became internalised in the film. When my father watched it, he called me and said, ‘But I was never like that to you.’ And I told him, ‘It was never about you.’(laughs)
He says,"At the heart of the stories I tell is this question - Why do we hesitate to offer a little more love, empathy, and acceptance to others? It costs us nothing, yet it enriches our lives in ways we don’t always realise. I feel that, both then and now, queer people are constantly navigating a world where finding love and support is not always easy due to lingering stigma. When I was making My Brother Nikhil in 2005, I wanted to explore that reality. In many ways, at that time the film also reflected my own longing for a love that endures."
He adds,"I feel that the film also gave me precious people in my life, like Sanjay Suri, Juhi Chawla, my cinematographer, and my sound recordist, with whom I have now worked for 20 years on all my films. It gave me lasting bonds. People talk about bonding in the film fraternity, and I truly feel that I have found so much love in this industry.Of course, there have been hurdles, but I believe I have found more love than challenges. I could be who I am today only because of the support I received even as an outsider in the film industry."
Sanjay Suri was always on Onir's mind for Nikhil. When it came to casting Juhi, Onir says that beyond her talent, she has this warmth and innocence and her smile alone radiates so much love. He says,"I was telling the story of a gay character - one of the first in mainstream Hindi cinema - and the audience was still raw about it. I felt that I needed an actor with a certain presence, someone whose warmth and sincerity could resonate with viewers. Juhi has such a warm, loving smile, and I believed that when the audience her character's love toward her brother, it would help them connect emotionally and be more accepting. For me, it was her innocence, warmth, and that beautiful smile that made her perfect for the role.Of course, I already knew what she could do as an actor."

One scene that deeply touched me was the moment by the sea, when Juhi's character is at the sea and Sanjay is dying. She tries to be strong, but when Nigel tells her she must keep going, she simply says, ‘I’m tired of being strong.’ I remember that while filming, we were all overwhelmed with emotion and all of us were crying - it was as if the fear of losing someone dear became real for all of us.