News
lifestyle
parenting
moments
7 ways to discipline your child without punishment or rewards

7 ways to discipline your child without punishment or rewards

TOI Lifestyle Desk / etimes.in / Updated: Apr 11, 2025, 17:49 IST

Text Size

Small
Medium
Large

Indian parents often grapple with challenging child behaviors, sometimes resorting to shouting or physical discipline under stress. Experts like Meghna Yadav emphasize that understanding the root causes, such as developmental stages and environmental factors, is crucial. Proactive, in-the-moment, and reflective strategies, including staying calm, offering logical consequences, and discussing behaviors later, can foster a positive environment without punishment.

7 ways to discipline your child without punishment or rewards

Parenting often involves navigating through the ups and downs of managing challenging behaviors in children. Many parents find themselves shouting or even resorting to physical discipline, especially when they're pressed for time, such as during a morning rush or when balancing work commitments. Research shows that 82% of parents raise their voices or hit their children when stressed, while 66% observe negative behavior from their child in public but fail to notice the same behaviors in private settings. In moments of frustration, some parents feel helpless, as if no parenting strategy works. However, understanding the root causes of children's challenging behavior can help guide parents toward more constructive solutions.
According to Meghna Yadav, head�?training and development, child psychologist, and family counsellor, “Children’s behaviour is shaped by various factors. Some behaviours, such as impulsive actions or tantrums, are part of a child’s instinctive repertoire, learned from observing others. Developmental stages also play a role; toddlers, for example, can be egocentric and act impulsively, reacting based on what they believe is best for them. Additionally, environmental factors, like a disorganized home or inconsistent routines, can heighten a child’s stress and lead to disruptive behaviour.�?br/>To address these behaviours effectively, parents can use proactive, in-the-moment, and reflective strategies. Proactive strategies focus on preventing challenging behaviour before it occurs. This involves clear, concise communication with children and organizing their environment to reduce stress. “In-the-moment" strategies focus on the child when the child is displaying challenging behaviour, during this moment it’s important for parents to stay calm and address the behaviour immediately, rather than ignoring it.

Poll

Do you think ignoring minor annoying behaviors can be beneficial in parenting?

No, it encourages bad behaviorYes, it helps

By attending to the behaviour, parents can guide the child through their emotions, offering clear instructions or redirection to help them understand appropriate actions in the moment. “After the interaction�?strategies focuses on the child once they have calmed down after the challenging behaviour Parents should take time to reflect on the situation and teach the child valuable lessons from the experience. This can involve discussing what happened, why the behaviour was inappropriate, and reinforcing better choices for next time, helping the child learn and grow from the event.

* Ignore annoying but not dangerous behaviours

According to Shireen Sultana, Senior Vice President - Marketing, Klay “In-the-moment strategies are key when a child is exhibiting challenging behaviour. Parents should avoid reacting impulsively by shouting or punishing. Instead, minor annoying behaviours, such as a child pulling on clothes for attention, can be ignored.

The Perks of Being More Active For Your Children (76)

* Offer logical consequences

For more serious behaviours, offering logical consequences, like letting a broken toy remain broken, helps children understand the impact of their actions.

* Walk closer to the child-proximity

Staying physically close to an upset child can offer comfort and help de-escalate the situation.

* You shout: I shout

The most important principle during challenging moments is to remain calm shouting only increases tension, while a calm response reinforces the message. After the situation has settled, reflecting on the behavior with the child is essential.

* Console and cuddle

Consoling the child and explaining why their actions were inappropriate helps them understand the emotional impact.

* Discuss later as a group to generate new ideas

Discussing the event as a family and involving older children in finding solutions fosters cooperation and learning.

* Be a Parent, not a friend

Lastly, parents should strive to be guides and mentors rather than just friends to their children. By demonstrating appropriate behavior and being consistent with rules and expectations, parents earn their children’s respect and cooperation.
Parenting is undeniably challenging, but by applying proactive, in-the-moment, and reflective strategies, parents can effectively manage their children's behaviors, fostering a positive environment without relying on punishment or rewards.

Worst discipline mistake most parents make

About the Author

TOI Lifestyle Desk

The TOI Lifestyle Desk is a dynamic team of dedicated journalists who, with unwavering passion and commitment, sift through the pulse of the nation to curate a vibrant tapestry of lifestyle news for The Times of India readers. At the TOI Lifestyle Desk, we go beyond the obvious, delving into the extraordinary. Consider us your lifestyle companion, providing a daily dose of inspiration and information. Whether you're seeking the latest fashion trends, travel escapades, culinary delights, or wellness tips, the TOI Lifestyle Desk is your one-stop destination for an enriching lifestyle experience.

End of Article