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What is peacock parenting? Know why the internet is concerned about this parenting style

What is peacock parenting? Know why the internet is concerned about this parenting style

TOI Lifestyle Desk / etimes.in / Apr 12, 2025, 19:00 IST

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A new parenting style called 'Peacock Parenting,' linked to narcissistic behavior, is gaining attention. Characterized by excessive control, admiration-seeking, and emotional invalidation, it can severely impact children. Parents exhibiting these traits often avoid responsibility, violate boundaries, and display a sense of entitlement. Psychotherapist Kathleen Saxton's upcoming book sheds light on this damaging dynamic.

What is peacock parenting? Know why the internet is concerned about this parenting style

Peacock may be an alluring bird; but as a parenting style it has a dark and deeper meaning attached to it. The concept of peacock parenting is a term associated with narcissistic parenting style. The word narcissist in this context means someone who is highly self-absorbed, lacks empathy and always needs praise.
Popularized by British psychotherapist Kathleen Saxton in her book (

My parent the Peacock:

Discovery and Recovery from Narcissistic Parenting)

which is set to be released in September of 2025, its excerpt is available on the internet. This book of hers describes a form of narcissistic behavior of parents. These parents exhibit excessive control and admiration, often overshadowing what their children want. These types of parents usually avoid taking full responsibility for their actions. Invalidate their children's emotions, overlooking their desires, strictly imposing their needs and wants.
Often associated with violating their children’s boundaries. Such behaviors when exhibited by parents leads to developing low self-worth and confusion. Children under these parents usually find it hard to create their own identity.

What are the signs of Peacock Parenting?

Avoidance of responsibility:

Peacock parents rarely acknowledge what their children do. They lack warmth, the kind of which helps their children to grow. Never accepting their mistakes or apologizing for their actions even if they are causing their kids any harm.

Emotional invalidation:

They often dismiss their children’s feelings, making them feel like they are a burden on them. Sometimes, even accusing them of being overly-sensitive or mis-remembering events, which can lead to gas lighting.

Boundary violations:

These parents may disregard any potential boundaries that are set up. Using guilt to trap them or manipulating their actions to control their children. These parents often feel threatened, instead of feeling proud.

Sense of entitlement:

Exhibiting a strong belief that they are entitled to their children’s time and belief. Often at the expense of their child’s autonomy.

The deeper impact on healing from Peacock Parenting

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Healing from the kind of trauma that parents give is very different from other traumatic events. These patterns affect relationships, career and personal confidence. Through the healing process, individuals begin to understand that their struggles stem from distorted dynamics with their parents. Children may struggle with healthy boundaries and develop a diminished self-worth. Therapy plays a key role by helping individuals re-frame their experiences.
As the healing process deepens, many find themselves more assertive, empathetic and emotionally resilient. Healing breaks the cycle-- they allow them to love more, care more and lead a different life all together. Awareness, empathy and emotional authenticity at the core. Understanding these dynamics is essential for personal growth and breaking the cycle of narcissistic parenting.

About the Author

TOI Lifestyle Desk

The TOI Lifestyle Desk is a dynamic team of dedicated journalists who, with unwavering passion and commitment, sift through the pulse of the nation to curate a vibrant tapestry of lifestyle news for The Times of India readers. At the TOI Lifestyle Desk, we go beyond the obvious, delving into the extraordinary. Consider us your lifestyle companion, providing a daily dose of inspiration and information. Whether you're seeking the latest fashion trends, travel escapades, culinary delights, or wellness tips, the TOI Lifestyle Desk is your one-stop destination for an enriching lifestyle experience.

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